shitonmyprojectplease.com. Independent project risk audits — for founders and investors

I'm not in love with your project.

I haven't spent the past six months building it, defending it, or learning to live with its compromises. That distance is exactly what allows me to see it clearly.

I won't tell you what you want to hear.
I'll tell you what still needs to be proven.

a public deck is all I need to start.
I usually reply within two business days.
send me the deck
§ 01 / THE PROBLEM

Expensive problems usually start small.

Projects rarely fail because nobody cared. They fail because smart people were busy making them work.

One assumption becomes a fact. One workaround becomes infrastructure. One optimistic forecast becomes payroll. One temporary dependency quietly becomes permanent.*

By the time everyone agrees there is a problem, the project has already spent a lot of money proving it.

I look for the first link in that chain.

I've spent more than 20 years building and running digital products — from early launches to platforms serving 20 million users a month.

§ 02 / WHAT I LOOK FOR

I review the project as a system.

The business model, product, research, technology, operations, and distribution are not separate when any one of them can break the others.

RE: 01

Assumptions doing too much work

What needs to be true for the project to succeed — and how much of it has actually been proven?

RE: 02

A business model under pressure

Where does the money come from? What happens when the optimistic numbers become normal numbers?

RE: 03

Missing evidence

Which decisions are supported by research, data, or observable behaviour — and which are supported by confidence?

RE: 04

Technical and operational weak spots

Architecture, integrations, data flows, team capabilities, external dependencies, and single points of failure.

RE: 05

Audience and distribution risk

Acquisition, retention, platform dependency, content supply, monetisation, and the dangerous belief that a good product will somehow distribute itself.

RE: 06

Questions everyone stopped asking

Every project has them. Usually for a reason. Rarely a good one.

§ 03 / WHAT YOU GET

I don't give you more opinions. I reduce uncertainty.

Every audit ends with a written, prioritised assessment of the risks, assumptions, missing evidence, and dependencies that matter most. Depending on the scope, I may also include an assumption map, supporting research, and a review session with your team.

I don't make the decisions for you.
I make it harder to make them blindly.

you receive a clear, prioritised view of:
  • The risks most likely to damage the project
  • The assumptions carrying the most weight
  • The evidence that is missing or unreliable
  • The dependencies that deserve immediate attention
  • The additional research or validation still required
  • The questions your team needs to answer next
§ 04 / WHO THIS IS FOR

You may need this if...

You are a founder
You are about to* commit serious money, start a major build, raise capital, enter a new market, or scale something that already feels less predictable than the deck suggests.
You are an investor
You want an independent view of the product, business logic, research, technical dependencies, and risks sitting underneath the presentation.
§ 05 / WHO THIS IS NOT FOR

We can save each other some time.

If the conclusion is already fixed, there is no reason to involve me.

this probably won't work if you need:
  • Someone to validate a decision you have already made
  • A motivational strategy session
  • A consultant who arrives with the same framework for every project
  • A free call to "explore synergies"
  • A report nobody intends to act on
§ 06 / HOW IT WORKS

Start with the deck.

  1. Send me a public deck

    No questionnaire. No essay about your mission. Just send a deck that explains the project well enough for me to understand what you are building and why.

    make sure the link opens without an access request, or attach a PDF under 10 MB. consider this the first technical test.

  2. I take a first look

    I review the deck and reply within two business days. If I think I can be useful, I'll get in touch with the next steps. If I'm not the right fit, I'll say so. We've both saved ourselves a call.

  3. We sign an NDA

    Before you share confidential research, financials, architecture, data, or internal documents, we sign a mutual NDA electronically.

  4. I define the audit

    After reviewing the necessary materials, I propose the scope, timing, and fee. You approve the scope, pay through a secure link, and receive access to my calendar.

    calls happen after context, scope, and payment — not before.

  5. I audit the project

    I examine the assumptions, evidence, dependencies, business logic, and vulnerable parts of the system. Where necessary, I look for additional research or independent confirmation of critical assumptions. When context matters, I may ask to speak with the person who made an assumption. I want to understand the reasoning behind it, not just the number it eventually became. Then we review the findings together.

    assumptions become surprisingly confident once they enter a spreadsheet.

  6. We decide what happens next

    The audit is a complete engagement on its own. If the project still has a pulse, the work is useful, and we both want to continue, we can discuss ongoing involvement.

§ 07 / ABOUT ME
Eugene Volkov
Eugene Volkov
Independent Digital Project Auditor
Founder, CEO & Professional Skeptic

I've built enough projects to know how they break.

I've spent more than 20 years launching and running digital products.

More than 50 projects across media, research, analytics, adtech, and AI. Some reached 20 million users a month. One was a national video platform competing with global players. Across that work, I've been responsible for more than $100 million in budgets.

The numbers are useful context. The mistakes were more educational.

I've seen smart teams make bad decisions for perfectly reasonable reasons. I've seen assumptions turn into code, infrastructure, contracts, and payroll before anyone checked whether they were true.

If your project is solid, it will survive the questions. If it isn't, you'll want to know now.

if you need the titles, dates, and respectable version of my career, linkedin has it.

§ 08 / FAQ

A few uncomfortable answers.

No.
Free introductory calls are available in heaven. Here, I need enough context to understand whether a conversation would be useful. Start with the deck.
No.
I identify risks, weak assumptions, missing evidence, and vulnerable parts of the system. What you do with that information remains your decision.
Almost anything digital.
From early concepts to operating platforms. I know media, content, audience products, research, analytics, adtech, AI, marketplaces, and large digital ecosystems especially well. But I'm not limited to projects that fit neatly into those categories. If you're building a crypto wallet for dogs, I may laugh. That doesn't mean the project is bad. It means I already have questions.
Not in the narrow sense.
I have no illusions about replacing your CTO. Nor should I. Technical architecture is one of their core responsibilities, and they will know the system in far more detail than I ever could. What I bring is distance and enough technical experience to spot high-level risks: architecture that does not fit the business model, fragile dependencies, unnecessary complexity, unrealistic scaling assumptions, and technical decisions based on things nobody has actually proven. This is not a code review, penetration test, or cybersecurity certification. If a question requires deeper technical judgement, I can bring in independent specialists to assess it properly.
Yes.
If the public deck looks relevant, we can sign a mutual NDA before you share confidential materials.
Priced per project.
Each audit is scoped separately. The fee depends on the complexity of the project, the amount of material, the research required, and whether additional expertise needs to be involved. This is not priced like a casual consulting call. It is intended for situations where getting the decision wrong would cost considerably more than examining it properly. An online doughnut shop and a digital bank will not receive the same invoice. I confirm the scope and fee before any paid work begins.
Days to weeks.
A focused review of an early-stage concept usually takes a few days. A complex, operating product with real users and infrastructure can take a few weeks. I confirm the timeline together with the scope and fee before any paid work begins.
Possibly.
If the project is interesting, still alive, and I can still be useful, we can discuss an ongoing advisory role. That would be a separate engagement, not part of the audit. To be clear, I'm not looking to join your team. A seat on the advisory board is possible. A desk in your office is not.
No.
Anyone offering that guarantee has already found the first risk in your project: themselves.

Think your project can survive uncomfortable questions?

Let's find out.

send me the deck
§ 09 / PROJECT SUBMISSION

Send me the deck.
That is enough to start.

no confidential information at this stage.
if i want to go deeper, we sign an NDA first.

— or —
privacy & terms
SUBMISSION CONFIRMATION
Deck received.
I'll review it and reply within two business days.

If I think I can be useful, I'll get in touch with the next steps. If I'm not the right fit, I'll say so. We've both saved ourselves a call.